


This Ship is not a Home

by Folle (orphan_account)



Series: Sportacus and Robbie Discover the Secrets of the Universe [6]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Awkward Boners, Facials, M/M, Oral Sex, okay this time its for real, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:51:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8724004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Folle
Summary: Prompt 1: Sportacus is completely ignorant about sex and Robbie has to teach him.Prompt 2: sportacus and robbie, bj's and sporta cumming on robbies face because he's secretly a dirty dirty boy.Prompt 3: Sportacus comes back to Robbie's because he now needs help with another problem that was created there.As it turns out, the little fiasco from "Pour a Little Sugar on It" isn't over when Sportacus' problem comes back, and he has no clue what it is or how to deal with it.





	

If there was anything Sportacus hated more than sugar, it was not having control of a situation.

It wasn’t a control thing, or a pride thing really. It was about feeling helpless. It was his _job_ to help people, and if he was the one who needed help? The fact that he didn’t even know what was going on with his own body made shame burn on his face.

Well to Sportacus, there wasn’t a more uncomfortable feeling in the world. It made his stomach churn and throat clamp up. Sometimes, tears would threaten to stream down his face from how frustrated he was.

The situation at Robbie’s house earlier in the day proved this to be true, but to an extent. He felt real crummy over the fact that he couldn’t handle the situation on his own, and yet the moment Robbie agreed to help him, albeit begrudgingly, it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

But now the same, maybe even worse, helplessness came back in the form of him unable to sleep and with his crotch aching. This had only happened a few handfuls of time before, usually when he woke up. Usually a few sets of jumping jacks and pushups got him back to his usual self, though there would be a longing of sorts lingering in his body for the rest of the day.

The other time happened when he was at Robbie’s lair a few hours ago. While the man was putting honey on his rash on his inner thighs, the back of his hands had brushed against his crotch several times, eliciting a reaction that Sportacus had never experienced before.

Sportacus had been mortified about what was happening, and the pleasure that was coursing through his body. Especially the little spikes of heat deep in groin that made his eyes roll back in his head. He didn’t mention anything, Robbie completely unaware of his reactions. He even had a smile! Sportacus guessed that the man did actually like helping people, finding peace in the motions of rubbing in honey. Or maybe it was just the sugary scent of the honey?

His normal work out had done nothing to alleviate the nearly painful erection that hung between his legs. If anything, the friction had only done to make things worse.

Sportacus’ current tactic of lying in bed and trying to ignore it wasn’t exactly working as well as he thought. He glared down at the tenting is his pajama bottoms, trying to will it away. He had long since stop trying to adjust it, as that also made his genitals hurt worse.

He finally sat up, gripping the edge of his bed. Although he had just taken a shower an hour ago, his skin was slick with sweat, and gleamed when the moonlight hit it.

“I’m going to have to make a decision,” he murmured to himself. He couldn’t deal with this on his own. He would have to ask an adult in town, or a doctor, on what is going on. There was no way he could ever ask mayor Meanswell or Ms. Busybody about this, the shame alone was more deadly than sugar or iron, and the thought of going to a doctor made his skin crawl. Which left only one option…

Sportacus hastily put on his boot sneakers, not bothering to change out of his pajamas, and sped out of his airship.

It took Robbie entirely too fucking long to clean his chair. He knew the honey was going to get everywhere, especially with how much Sportafool twitched and fidgeted, but the cum was an unexpected surprise.

Perhaps, even a pleasant surprise. He chuckled as he threw his rag into the sink. Maybe he needed to head to the bedroom he rarely used (since he usually slept in his chair, which is now wet) and have a little ‘Robbie play time’ before passing out.

Nevertheless, Sportacus always ended up ruining his plans to enjoy himself, one way or another. This time was more direct, and by direct he meant the damned elf stumbled gracelessly into his lair, not wearing his usual attire. And most noticeably, sporting quite the tent in his pants.

“Robbie…” Sportacus whimpered, a pathetically embarrassed look on his face. “I-I’m sorry to be bothering you again, but…” He kept his eyes fixated on the concrete floor.

It was like a gift. A gift wrapped with ribbon and a tag attached with his name on it. Robbie was 100% certain that the whole situation came straight out of a porno, and that whoever wrote said porno knew just what his wet dreams were. If it were up to him, he’d pounce on Sportacus right then and there, but he’s an adult, and some amount of self-control was expected of him.

“Sportaflop…” he started sternly, with full intention to lecture the elf about wandering into his lair with a boner (definitely would have been the strangest thing he’d ever done), yet when Sportacus looked up with those God damned baby blues, and grabbed him by the shoulders, and he was putty in his hands.

“I don’t know what is happening. It’s been like this for an hour, and it hurts.” That pathetic elf was getting all too close to him, so much so that he could feel the heat radiating off of his body.

Robbie’s mouth floundered open and close as he tried to construct a response. He could turn him away, and leave him to suffer, which was looking to be an extremely tempting option, but then again…

“I can’t BELIEVE I’m doing this for you Sportanut,” he growled, grabbing him by the wrist. He almost led him over to his damp, yet now immaculate, chair, but decided against it. Instead, he shoved him against his kitchen counter. “Listen closely, because I’m only going to explain this once, and I’m only going to _do_ this for you once. This,” Robbie reached down and gently caressed Sportacus’ dick through his pants, causing the sports elf to let out a choked moan as his eyes fluttered close. He slowly started to rub and massage it with his hand. “Is an erection, which is when your penis becomes hard when you get turned on, sexually.”

“R-Robbie…” Sportacus whimpered. He had to grab onto the other man’s shoulder as to not collapse from Robbie’s ministrations. “Wh- What do I do to get rid of it?” His voice was so small that it was almost a whisper. His leg was wedged in between Robbie’s, and he could feel him growing harder against him. He wanted to ask, about why Robbie was getting turned on as well, but when he felt a warm, slightly calloused hand wrap around his shaft, he had to bite down on his bottom lip to stop all the moans from slipping out of his mouth.

“I’ll show you,” he whispered into Sportacus’ ear, nipping his lobe and tugging on it before moving back to look at his face. Robbie was extremely grateful that for once he hadn’t work his hat. He maneuvered one hand to tug down Sportacus’ pants, while the other continued to stroke his cock. “You do this with your hand, or, if there’s someone you’re close with, they can help you out too.”

”I-is that why y-your helping me? Because we are close?” Despite the unbridled ecstasy coursing through his body, a small swelling of hope made his heart skip a few beats. Maybe he was getting through to Robbie, why else would he be helping him twice within one day, within a couple _hours_? He really hoped that Robbie was thinking of him as a best friend, and it’s why he was helping. Isn’t that what best friends do? Help each other?

“Don’t get your hopes up Sportaflop, I’m only helping you because it’s pathetic you don’t even know about your own bodily functions,” he sneered, swiping his thumb across the head of Sportacus’ dick, which made him take in a sharp, shaky breath.

Sportacus couldn’t stop his hips from bucking into the touch. Although Robbie was acting callous towards him, he knew that Robbie was lying. Say it was just a hunch, or wishful thinking.

Either way, he felt like he was on top of the world. Although he still found the noises Robbie was eliciting from him to be embarrassing, although it was a small burden to carry compared to what Robbie must be feeling. Sportacus wanted to tease him, maybe make him taste a little of his own medicine, but every time he went to form words, none could come out. It felt as if he was being choked, yet he could still breathe. And when he did manage to make noises, they were moans, groans, and whimpers. “How will I know when I’m done?” he asked quietly.

Robbie smirked whenever he heard Sportacus make a noise. He was pretty ineffective as a villain, so it was rare for him to draw such a strong reaction out of Sportacus. _He_ was the one with all the control right now, and it felt pretty damned good. “You keep going until you can’t bear it anymore, then you orgasm. White stuff called cum with come out of your dick, and you feel amazing.”

“Even more amazing than you’re making me feel right now?”

Robbie mind went blank, and at that exact moment he’d have to do everything in his power to give this elf his first and best orgasm ever. He was just going to jerk him off until spilled over his hand he had an even better idea on how to get the elf to completely lose himself. Normally something like this would be completely out of the question, but as his mind was clouded in a haze of lust, he had lost all ability to care.

When Robbie left him, Sportacus nearly fell to the floor with a high pitched keen. If the other man was right about this being a normal body function, then he had no clue how anyone could deal with it. His body felt like it was on fire, and like he had just drunk an entire pot of coffee in one sitting, although couldn’t make his body move. While what Robbie was doing felt better than anything he could ever imagine, him leaving suddenly without a word left him reeling. It left him feeling like he had this irritable itch deep inside him. And if Robbie wasn’t here at this exact moment…

It felt strange to pleasure himself with his own hand. It didn’t feel as good as Robbie, with his warm skin and experience, but it was still better than nothing. He breathed heavily and continued stroking himself until Robbie came back from wherever he went. He longed to feel him pressed up against him, warm puffs of breath on his neck, Robbie’s eyes dark and hooded… Something inside of his twanged at the mere thought of the man, and he would have doubled over if one of his hands wasn’t grabbing onto the edge of the counter for dear life.

When Robbie _finally_ came back from the depths of his layer, he was holding a small square packet, a little smaller than the palm of his hand. He stopped in his tracks the moment he walked in and saw Sportacus beating himself off, head tilted back and eyes closed and he tried to desperately imitate what Robbie had done to him earlier. It made him want to ravage that elf until he was left as a blubbering mess. Bite his neck, fuck him with his face shoved in a pillow and his ass up in the air so hard that he wouldn’t be able to do his silly flips for _days_.

Sportacus opened his eyes when he noticed Robbie had come back. His pupils were blown open wide, a hint of his baby blues still there in the ring surrounding them. “What is th-that?” he asked, glancing down at what Robbie was holding in his hand.

“It’s a condom Sportakook, you wear them you don’t give someone an STD during sex.”

“B-But Robbie-” He let out a broken moan as the man replaced his hand with his own.

Robbie had to wrap an arm around his waist, pressing their bodies together, to keep him up. He wasn’t as strong as Sportacus, and that man was built dense like a sack of bricks, so unless he got his act together they were going to have to continue this tryst on the floor.

“I’ve never had sex before.” His voice was quiet, but not in the overwhelmed with pleasure way. He kept his eyes fixed on something far off into the lair.

Robbie snorted and rolled his eyes, although he did toss the still wrapped condom onto the counter. “You don’t have to tell me twice. I suppose the condom was more force of habit than anything else.”

As the initial high from getting Sportacus off started to wear off, Robbie cooled down and became more aware of himself. Specifically, what this man was doing to him. He hadn’t noticed that he was practically rutting against his hips, or how Sportacus’ lips were a bright pink from him chewing and biting down on them, or how his musk almost had a sweet smell to it. There was always something about that smell that enticed Robbie, drew him to the sports elf. It made his hearts do flips in his chest, but he could never exactly pin down what that feeling was…

Oh God.

Oh God, _no_.

Robbie knew what this was, and quite frankly, he was disgusted with himself. He had felt it before, with men he thought were the one, but ended up breaking his heart one way or another. He couldn’t let it happened again, he wouldn’t be able to take the pain if he was denied or if Sportacus decided he wasn’t worth his time. Although any remedy to remove that ache in his chest was something he longed for, more than anything he had ever dreamed of.

His hand slid up to caress Sportacus’ cheek, rubbing small circles across his cheekbone with his thumb and he turned his head to face him. It took the elf a few seconds before his eyes flittered up to look directly into Robbie’s, but when he did, the taller man leaned his head forward and captured the elf’s lips in a chaste kiss.

Sportacus was shocked at first. This wasn’t a rush of heat and lust like everything else he had done for him, but instead a steady throbbing of _something_ in his chest. He couldn’t quite place a finger on what it was, however companionship was the closest thing he could come to. Was this what it felt like to truly have a best friend? If so, Sportacus didn’t mind it one bit. He pushed up against Robbie’s lips, not entirely sure on what to do. He mimicked as well as he could, but it was hard to tell if the other man was even enjoying it.

At least from Sportacus’ perspective. For Robbie, the sensation of another pair of lips moving against his brought him unimaginable joy. It had been so long since he had last felt like this, that he didn’t even know how much he craved it, and no matter how much he wanted to nip and lick at Sportacus’ lips, he couldn’t bring himself to ruin the tenderness and sweetness of the moment. His doubts and fears always made his mind run at a million miles an hour and at the moment it felt like that kiss was clearing that away.

He slowly slid down to his knees, idly peppering any exposed skin he could reach with sloppy kisses.

“What are you doing now?” Sportacus asked, breathing heavily. He seemed to have considerably calmed down from before. His lips were spit slicked and glistened wetly under the fluorescent lighting in Robbie’s lair. His chest heaved from under his rucked up t-shirt. His cock was still hard, obvious by Sportacus awkwardly trying to scoot backwards to get it away from Robbie’s face.

Robbie didn’t answer Sportacus’ question, at least vocally. Wordlessly, he grabbed the man’s thighs, fingers digging into the smooth, supple flesh of his ass. Robbie littered his dick with little opened mouthed kisses, gingerly nipping and smoothing over with his tongue the skin around the base. He licked a few long stripes up the cock, savoring in the musky and heady taste that was uniquely Sportacus until the elf’s legs were shaking, and his eyes were determinately fixated on the sight of Robbie on his knees before him.

”O-oh Robbie… Wh- _Ah~!_ ” He threw his head back and let out a long groan as Robbie took the head of his penis into his mouth, gently suckling before moving further down the shaft.

He laved the cock his mouth with attention, swirling his tongue around it. Robbie never really did care for the taste of cum, too salty, usually too slimy as well, and it usually made him gag. But Sportacus’ precum wasn’t as bad as the others he had tasted, in fact, it was even a little _sweet_. That combined with his smell drove him crazy. It made him increase his efforts double fold, hollowing his cheeks, and reaching up to play with Sportacus’ sac. He wanted Sportafluke to be completely enraptured when he came in his mouth. Not that he wasn’t already. His knuckles were turning white from how tight he was gripping the counter, and these broken moans kept on slipping past his lips.

However, when Robbie pulled back for air, Sportacus let out a long, stuttering groan and came. He spurted thick strands of cum onto Robbie’s face. He silently thanked his luck that none of it got in his eyes.

When Sportacus dropped to the ground, he ended up slumping forward, against Robbie. Feeling incline, he wrapped his arms around the tuckered out elf, who had buried his face in the crook of his neck. A bit of the cum had wiped off into Sportacus’ curls as he nuzzled Robbie.

It was a bit of a stretch for Robbie to reach, but he managed to just barely grab the rag on the counter. It proved to be exceedingly difficult with one arm of dead weight that was panting into his neck. That made it hard to ignore his very much obvious boner. As he wiped off his face, and Sportacus’ hair, he forced himself to ignore it, as he did with practically everything else he felt. Sportacus had come here for his help, and as much of a villain as he was, he could never ask Sportacus of that.

“Th-thank you Robbie, you are a very good best friend,” he said after her finally caught his breath. Sportacus pulled his head back his back. His lips only inches away from Robbie’s, whose sweet and musky breath he could smell, and gazed into his eyes. “I am very tired now, is that something that usually happens, my best friend?”

“Yes Sportadoof, it’s normal.”

Sportacus noticed that his tone held none of the same malice as it did early, and his eyes weren’t as harsh as they were earlier that night. And with that realization, he couldn’t help but crush him into a flee fueled hug, taking him by surprise. The look must have meant that Robbie thought of him as his best friend now! It was the only thing that made sense! It was all he ever wanted for the man, was for him to have a best friend so he wasn’t so sad and lonely all the time. Whenever Sportacus saw him lurking around town with that glum expression on his face as he looked on as everyone else played, it broke his heart. No one should ever have to feel like that, especially someone who evoked such joy in him. He wished Robbie could share the same joy that he had.

Robbie almost leaned forward and kissed him again. This fool was going to be the death of him, with the way he looked at him with such fondness. If he tried hard enough, he could fool himself into believing it was affection. He wished he could, just for once, experience that familiar burn of intimacy again…

Instead of kissing, he hastily jumped up, leaving a confused and worn out Sportacus on the floor. “You should head back to your ship, it’s getting late,” he said coldly and abruptly. How silly of him to think he could even _indulge_ in thoughts like that. Sportacus only wants to think of him as best friends, even as silly as it seems after doing something as carnal an act as what he just did.

The poor thing stuck his bottom lip out and furrowed his eyebrows like a God damn kicked puppy. “I should. Robbie, I understand that this is rather embarrassing thing for you to have to help me with, but I really am truly thankful.” He dragged Robbie into one last hug, squeezing him like he was never going to see the lanky man again before letting go, and heading off into the night with a goodbye and a wave.

It took all of his might not to call out to the elf and tell him to come back, that he could stay the night, share his chair, and then proceed to spill out all of his affections and emotions to him. This one little slip up was going to be the last, no doubt about it. He might have to double, perhaps even triple, his efforts to keep his secret shoved down until it never saw the light of day again.

Sportacus, up in his airship and now relieved of his “little” issue, sat on the ledge and watched over LazyTown. It was such a beautiful night out up in the clouds. Trixie always talked about the stars, how beautiful they were, and how she wanted to pick them like flowers, but he always thought Earth was just as, if not more, beautiful as the sky. Not that many people notice from down on the ground. It’s where everyone was. As pretty as space was, it would be awfully lonely up there with nothing but your ship as your companion.

He could speak from experience. Before coming to LazyTown, he flew from city to city, helping where he was needed, people acting nice when he came into town and helped their children develop healthy habits, and played soccer, but ultimately gave him the cold shoulder. No one was overly fond of a grown man spending so much time around their children. He never fully understood why.

LazyTown was where he felt like he truly belonged. Everyone here was so nice, and never turned him away because he was grown, and they were always grateful. Others needed him, but here was somewhere where he could call his home.

That was another thing he never really understood. Growing up always on the move made it hard for him to understand the concept of a home. His airship was where he lived, where he came to at night, but the word home never aptly described it. LazyTown helped him understand what a home _really_ was.

But Robbie Rotten? He gave the word meaning.

**Author's Note:**

> This. Took. Way. Too. Fucking. Long. But yeah Robbie needs some help from the muses.


End file.
